Puasa

Ramadhan is here again. Will I be part of it? I want to ...

No doubt, I don't do it for religious sake, and those times that I did fast, I didn't follow the way it was intended to be. I didn't fast from dawn to dusk. I did on my own timing. I know, that isn't puasa as it should be. I don't expect any reward from God when I do fast, or do good deed. When I follow, I am just fulfilling myself. Yes, I had another reason. But that don't matter.

Puasa becomes meaningful, when one gets to celebrate at the end. But, it has been hard, not able to join those that I wanted to share the occasion with. It became all on my own. Yet ... isn't this puasa thing all about you and God? The act of communication between you and God? If one is doing it for religion sake ...

I am not religious, I believe in God .... but don't ask me which God haha. I can't answer that ... at this point in my life. I just believe ...

Ramadhan is not meant for me, but I wish to join the fasting ... though I may not do it everyday of it. Whenever I can, in my own way, I will try my best to be part of this special occasion ... even if it has to be alone, between me and God.