hidup

Parting is such ...

2010-06-30T11:20:00.002+08:00

It is easy to miss someone, but hard to forget that person, especially you are close, have strong feeling for that person. So don't stay away, keep in touch. For you will never know when that person will not be around ... forever.

Should that person be gone, cry but for awhile. Don't dwell on the sadness, or you will miss the happy memories you have shared together.

Life may seem short, but don't make it shorter.

If I should die, I will not want those I care and love to be sad. I want them to remember the happy time we shared.

Don't cry for me when I am gone, you should cry with me when I am still around, to share time with me, and keep me company when I am lonely. Smile with me, laugh with me. When I am gone, I will not hear your crying. I can't comfort you, which I very much will want to do.

I want to share time with you while I still can. Will you let me?

Parenting

2010-03-19T22:04:00.000+08:00

How do you know if you are a good parent? I don't ....

Some people will say I am not doing the right thing. Maybe so. All I know is that I will do my best to see to their needs. Will I be doing the right thing? Am I doing the correct thing? Maybe yes, maybe no.

Tonight, I did my best to see that my kids get the smoked duck, even though I have to walked in the rain, to another store. I had always tried to look for what they wanted, even if I had to go a great distance. When I see their smiles, I feel happy.

Yes, I spoil them, but I can spoil them only while I am alive. Who knows how long I will be around .....

sleeping beauty

2010-01-28T23:28:00.005+08:00

Sleepy ...

Why do I feel more sleepy when I am in morning shift than when I am doing afternoon? Afterall, I do the same amount of sleep, or lack of sleep hehe, around 4hrs. I find myself closing my eyes, then poop! I had dozed off.

I don't know, maybe it has to do with the time of the day. Can some intellectual give me an answer? Can it be due to other mysterious forces inside our body that tell us to stop working, go find a bed!.

I don't actually sleep other than night-time, sleeping during daylight makes me sick, sometimes. So, I remain awake, at least trying to, hahaha.

wedding I was waiting for ...

2010-01-03T13:13:00.003+08:00

Often we get invitation by people we hardly knew, but being colleagues, we get invited. Often we wouldn't bother if we couldn't make it. Even if we can spare an hour.

Yesterday wedding was special to me. If I had only 5 minutes, I would still make an effort to go. I wouldn't want to miss hers, even after my wife had asked me to skip it. Others I will, but not hers.

I don't like to attend wedding alone, this occasion happened the same, I ended up being alone, though my other colleagues were there. But it doesn't matter. It is my ex-shiftmate wedding and she was the reason I was there. I knew I would ended up alone again. Still, I was glad I went. I got to see her.

She looked so lovely in a wedding gown (well, I don't know what is the Malay term for the dress she was in). She looked so radiance ... as I watched her from a distance, I felt tears, like a father would.

Wishing her marital bliss always ....

invitation

2009-12-27T19:55:00.003+08:00

One reason I hardly go when I receive an invitation is because I do not like to be there alone. Which usually happened.

As it happened again on Saturday. Of course, if I get an invitation at all, which do not happen often.

Which is better. getting an invitation or not at all? Sometimes I feel I am better off not getting any. The only thing is, I will be disappointed if the person is important to me. I will really like to be there. Even if I am alone there ....

marathon a thorn

2009-12-10T12:25:00.001+08:00

From STForum posted on 9Dec09(http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/OnlineStory/STIStory_464059.html)

Dec 9, 2009
Qualifying time will separate the runners from walkers

I REFER to Monday's report, "Next step in the marathon - a bigger people's event".

Senior Parliamentary Secretary (Community Development, Youth and Sports, and Transport) Teo Ser Luck said he wanted the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon to be a bigger people's event.

I am all for having healthy events, but judging from last Sunday's run, I am against the idea of making it any bigger because it would inconvenience others.

Mr Teo mentioned other countries having smaller numbers for their marathons. Maybe it is because the participants in those events are real runners, unlike in Singapore. From what I saw, many people were just walking most of the way.

The organiser should allow only true runners to participate. Maybe having a minimum qualifying time would separate runners from others who are there for the walk. After all, this is a major event in Singapore.

Also, have the marathon in a place where there will be minimal disruption to other activities. I would not like to join an event that will be a nuisance to others.

Alan Lim

loving the cooking

2009-10-10T12:40:00.002+08:00

When I mentioned I wanted to cook, my wife told me it was easier to go downstair to buy. It would also avoid to do the cleaning up. I wanted to cook, so I told her I would clean up. And it would not be a bother to me.

With the convenience of food availability nowadays, it is easy to dismiss cooking. Yes, some may choose homecook food for the health factor. But it doesn't necessary mean the person cooks because of the love for cooking.

Some people cook because they have to, some people cook because they want to. A person has to love every bit in the process, from buying, to preparing, to cooking and finally to washing up. That is me ...

By the way, she enjoyed the dish so much that she wanted the same the next day. I may not be a great cook. but to me, loving to cook makes it worth every minute I spend in the kitchen. If only I feel that same inclination to want to cook everyday, haha. I admit, I do feel lazy often.

Stalking facebook ...

2009-10-04T17:18:00.003+08:00

Maybe I am a stalker ...

Recently there was an article in the newspaper about facebook stalker. Yes, there are people who are real stalker, out for mischieve. Facebook is a venue for people to watch people. And keep tracks of their network of families, friends or associates. Facebook helps me to do that too.

Maybe not for others who also are in contact with their friends in person, but for me Facebook is the only venue for me to know what is happening in their lives, those on my list. I don't get to socialise with them personally. So I can only check their facebook regularly to know how they are doing, what they are doing. To know if they are happy, or sad. If that is consider being a stalker, then I am guilty of being a stalker... because I care what is happening in their lives.

To me they are not victims, but friends. A friend that I can never hope to have in reality ...

Who is responsible?

2009-10-03T04:31:00.002+08:00

"Take Responsibility"

Funny ... that I should just finished watching the company video about this, and the very moment that I came upon someone pushing the responsibility to others when I brought up a case.

People like to avoid doing things that they can avoid, hoping others will do it. In this case, others can always ignore it too, since they can get their job done using another way. So who will do it in the end? Who wants to be responsible for solving it?

I had brought up the incident a lot of times, this and other incidents, and being a common area of work, there isn't seem to be someone who wants to solve it, being not their "responsibility".

Maybe I should ignore it as well? Afterall, I am not responsible ....

But I know I will not ..... just plain silly me!

Ghost month

2009-09-19T04:30:00.003+08:00

When I was young, I used to play with those small flags that they used for offering. Being young, I enjoyed playing with whatever I could get my hands on. There was also the getai, and the food accompanied the occasion. In a way, I looked forward to the hungry ghost month festivity. When I was young.

Now, I only find the smell of the burning of the papers irritating. The ashes also flew all over the area, making it dirty. Why can't these people clean up after their offering? Such irresponsible people. Some also ignore the bin provided and choose to burn on the pathement or grasses. At least clean up after the offering is over.

The smoke contributes to the already hazy sky.

Time of my Life

2009-09-16T14:44:00.006+08:00

Patrick Swayse had many movies, including "Ghost", who can forget the memorable clay scene. But the movie that I remember more of him is "Dirty Dancing", for the movie came out when I was still an active dancer.

Many occasions, one gets lost in ones career. "Dirty Dancing" came when we needed inspiration, to motivate us to continue dancing. Seeing him danced, how could one not get inspired? The movie also touched upon the life of a dancer, that it is not all fame, that we are still human being, capable of making mistakes, in wanting to do what we are passionate about.

Thank you Patrick, for giving us "Dirty Dancing". I had the time of my life ... and to this day still passionate about dancing ....

friends and amusement park

2009-09-04T10:36:00.003+08:00

In our daily lives, we meet and come across many people. Many are just transition in our lives. Many will disappear from our daily contacts, be it friends, colleagues, or people we have to work with as part of our work. Even family does not escape this transition.

If you have friends and family, treasure them. You will never know when you will lose them. Some may be lucky to have friends who are still in contact after many years, even lucky if they meetup once awhile. Treasure them.

I am not among the lucky. My world is empty of friends, as those I have at work, in reality are actually only colleagues. Once work is over, I don't get to see or socialise with them. It is like going to an amusement park, happy while you are there, but once you leave the place, you are left only with the memory. But I treasure those colleagues who have make my days more tolerable, and makes me want to come to work. To me, they are friends.

I wish my world can be an amusement park ... and I can have my friends with me always ...

Yet the truth is, people are leaving my amusement park. Someone is becoming a transition in my life. Another may already have. In time, like those before her, I will lose contact with her.

That will be very sad for me ...

Puasa

2009-09-02T00:32:00.003+08:00

Ramadhan is here again. Will I be part of it? I want to ...

No doubt, I don't do it for religious sake, and those times that I did fast, I didn't follow the way it was intended to be. I didn't fast from dawn to dusk. I did on my own timing. I know, that isn't puasa as it should be. I don't expect any reward from God when I do fast, or do good deed. When I follow, I am just fulfilling myself. Yes, I had another reason. But that don't matter.

Puasa becomes meaningful, when one gets to celebrate at the end. But, it has been hard, not able to join those that I wanted to share the occasion with. It became all on my own. Yet ... isn't this puasa thing all about you and God? The act of communication between you and God? If one is doing it for religion sake ...

I am not religious, I believe in God .... but don't ask me which God haha. I can't answer that ... at this point in my life. I just believe ...

Ramadhan is not meant for me, but I wish to join the fasting ... though I may not do it everyday of it. Whenever I can, in my own way, I will try my best to be part of this special occasion ... even if it has to be alone, between me and God.

Give a second chance

2009-09-02T00:10:00.002+08:00

What can we do if someone doesn't want to keep in touch? Nothing ...

It is not easy to find someone you want to trust, to be your best friend, to build a friendship. Yet, it is so easy to break any relationship that one has developed, over a simple matter. Through misunderstanding, or outside influence.

Time can be a help to build a strong friendship ... provided the relationship is given the time to do so. Without time as the factor, it is so easy for one party to end the friendship. No matter how much the other party wants the friendship.

A second chance? If only there is an opportunity ....

perfect relationship?

2009-08-18T11:50:00.000+08:00

Someone I know is facing relationship problem. I wish I know how to help her, but there is no one fix solution.

We can't read another person mind, all we have is his/her words. Whether he/she means what he/she says we can't be sure. But I will like to believe. Trust is important in a relationship. If you treasure your relationship, and wants it to work, put your trust in him. Otherwise, the relationship is shaky. And that will not make a good relationship for you to begin with. It will only brings problems along the way. And heartache.

Everyone don't like someone else to keep nagging on the same issue. Don't put pressure on him, for it will only makes him get irritate with you. Give him space, as you will want him to give you yours. And he will appreciate you for that.

Yes, I know that nobody like to being the person to get dump. But if you give up too fast, you may lose a good person. As long as he doesn't illtreat you, or there is no evidence of unfaithfulness on his part, don't give up on him. Even for someone who did, through his foolishness, he deserves a second chance if he is a good partner before his mistake. A person has many characters and virtue, one should see the good versus the bad. See the person as a whole, and not be judge by a couple of incidences. That may not even be the truth.

We can't always force someone to do things the way we want. Nobody is perfect, relationship is not perfect. Life is not perfect. We can only hope to have near perfection.

Relationship is about growing and learning to be with the one we care ...

vampire with a soul, human without a soul

2009-01-16T10:53:00.000+08:00

Before Twilight, another vampire, no two in fact, has captured some fans, one of them is me. Angel and Spike may be regular vampires who cant stand sunlight, but I will stand by them any day. Watching their television series, one experienced inter-friend relationships, love and good over evil issues, one cried and laughs with the stories. Most of all, it brings out the subject of having a "soul" as they were vampires with a soul, showing what it means having one. Which most people in real life doesnt seems to have.

Haiz ....

Suntec Dance

2008-09-07T21:10:00.004+08:00

Went down to watch Suntec Dance Competition 2008.

Was there at 5pm, but the programme didn't started till after 7.30pm. What a waste of time! I should have gone to do some shopping instead of waiting patiently for the thing to start. It doesn't pay to be patient this instant.

If everything had started at 5pm, the audience would not have been treated to the rain. The rain spoiled the mood of the occasion. Yes, maybe some people enjoyed soaking in the rain, but I didn't. I felt the rain had removed the mood of the dance competition. People kept moving about to avoid the rain, thus, the competition itself couldn't be enjoyed. I couldn't enjoy the dancing doing their stuff onstage. Having the audience huddled up together removed the visibility of most of the people who were standing behind.

As it was, the standard of the dancers was also below standard from the one I saw last year. Or those from other competition. Most dancers were using more gimmicks than dancing. Most letted go precious seconds of the music when they should be showing off. I didn't enjoy the choreography of most the groups and soloists. If I was the judge, I would deduct points. Hopefully the judges that night were more lenient.

I didn't stay till the finish. When the groups finished their part, I left the place. Hundgry already from waiting, so went to grab something to eat.

Though there were some good dances, on the whole, I felt the dancers should have done better. This was a big event afterall. I was disappointed with the competition performance, both the organisers and the dancers.

May next year be better .....

Chinesey

2008-08-25T12:44:00.005+08:00

First of all, I have nothing really against the Chinese. I do have minor issue with chinese the language more.

Before I come to that, I do want to say a little about the silver medal we get, though. As a Singaporean, of course I am delighted that a silver medal is won. But coming from players that are China-born and raised, I do feel a little disappointed that not a Singapore-born player got the medal for us. But I do appreciate the trio for getting the medal though. Now, if only a locally-bred will work harder and do us proud in the next Game, and next. Like Sumiko Tan, I will be more proud if someone who speak Singlish and understand the multiracial aspect of this country get a medal.

I am not against being chinese, even once when I travelled to Beijing, I was proud of being one when I was there, as that was the first time I was in China. But being chinese has not matter much to me ever since then. Chinese language had always being a hindrance in my academic performance, I had always done badly during my schooldays. It was the only subject that I failed in my O level. I can never communicate well in chinese, and I don't see the need to. I rather stick to English, the language I am able to communicate comfortably.

I find that more places are hiring China national. Fine, if they want to, but make sure they can speak and understand simple English. It is a setback for Singapore if tourists find that they cant communicate to the people here, not knowing that these are not Singaporean. Even us local are finding it a bother trying to make them understand simple things.

Once I encountered a Chinese, don't know if he is local or not, accompanying a chinese national, demanded that I speak chinese, claiming he was chinese and wanted a reply in chinese. Come on, this is Singapore, I don't have to speak chinese. If you are in China, I will understand, but this is not China, if you can't speak English, go back to China. I may be chinese as a race, but I don't have to speak chinese. The main language of communication here is mainly English, and that is my first language. I admit I am lacking in my chinese, so don't DEMAND!

I am Singaporean first, then a chinese, so don't put race into the picture. Don't make me hate Chinese.

Bus and Design, or lack of it

2008-07-29T10:38:00.003+08:00

Frankly, I think the people who design product never use the product before!

Okay, probably some do, and maybe majority don't. I am sure you can think of many, but I will stick to only bus for this posting. Basically, the design of the bus stop and the bus. Look at the way the bus stop is layout. When one is seating down in at a bus stop, should someone comes over and stand in front of you, you can't see any bus coming. And the tendency is for people to be crowding in front of the people who are seating. Such is the design of the bus stop. One can only see the bus if one stands up, or the bus is right in front of you. And the route guide, it is always at the back of a seat, such that if someone is seating, you will be like trying to see through that person in order to read the guide. One surely will get dirty look by others if that person seating is a pretty lady in low cut blouse. Whether one intention is the lady or the guide behind her!

And as for the bus, especially the new bus, why have a more spacious standing room in the front portion of the bus, when it is required for passengers to move to the rear in order to make room for incoming passengers? Logically, people will crowded round a place where the room is more spacious. Look at the old bus design, you often find people standing near the exit as it is more roomy. The designer should have the standing room portion at the back, then you have an excuse for telling them to move to the rear. And for that matter, have the exit door closer to the rear. You will find people more willing to move back. Haven't anyone learn that by now?

Another thing is the ezlink contact point. The one at the front is allowing entrance and exit. It is fine if the bus is crowded, making it hard to sqeeze to the exit behind, but if it is not crowded, it should be switch to entry only. Then it will not slow down those who are boarding the bus. It is silly when the people is coming down the bus at the front, preventing people from boarding, while the exit door has nobody going down. Sheesh! This is stupid! If I am not mistaken, when the bus company first introduce ezlink, there wasn't a dual entry/exit at the front, so people can board and deboard the bus faster. Only when they realised that people took too long to move to the exit at the rear that they started the dual mode at the front. In the first place, if the bus was designed better, there was no need to introduce dual mode tap point.

I have always felt that one should be able to get a seat when one board a bus. It isn't fair that a standing passenger has to pay the same fare as a person sitting. When one goes for a event performance, one pays differently for seating, or standing when there is one. It is no wonder that people don't want to stand when seeing older folk, children or pregnant ladies. Their mindset probably says why should they stand when they pay for their seats. This and probably other reasons add up to their unwillingness to give up their seats.

I don't want to mention the MRT, I don't like MRT and will avoid them if possible even if it is a faster mode to travel. Why? Because the chances of not getting a seat is very very high. Now there is an annoucement to reduce seats further for the less able-bodied. Will it work? I don't know. I hope it will, though I fear that people will now hold on to their seats more. Even rushing for the few seats available.

I don't mind giving up my seat if those in need of it approaches, but it is unlikely they will as I am usually at the back of the bus on the crowded bus. I will make an effort to move behind. It irks me seeing so much space behind while the front is so jam-packed. But all these will be unnecessary if people thinks of others, that what if they were in that position?

And all these will not be necessary, if the people designing the bus has thoroughly thought of it in the first place!

Living with others

2008-07-22T09:18:00.004+08:00

I don't believe that when one is with someone, whether boyfriend, fiance or husband, one is not allow to make friends with the opposite sex. A friend is not defined by his or her sex, but how comfortable one is with the person.

A person should be allow to make friends with whoever he chooses. Of course as long as he doesn't go beyond the borders of friendship if he is already attached. Then, it is not right!

It is natural to look at someone else, and fantasies. One cannot control how one feels, but one can still control how one behaves. If your partner get overjealous over another when there is no need to be, then your partner is not being fair to you. Do you wish that your partner can let you mix around with whoever you choose as well?

Life is about living with other people. It is not about two people. Yet it can be bonding for the two if they know how to be tolerance and selfless. Trying to control your partner life will only lead to unhappiness. Even separation. All because of something that is harmless.

But that being said, I can understand the need for some who want their partners to be faithful, even though the relationship with others may be harmless. I know it is also natural for a person to be jealous, just as it is natural for a person to want somebody who can understand him/her. It is not easy to know trust, for often we have found that being broken. And once broken, it is hard to mend.

Trust. It is so important in any relationship. Yet, so hard to find.

This is a hard topic with so many issues that need to be tackled to fully understand, so I am only touching lightly here. It always hurts when one find your partner being unfaithful and broke your trust, even more when oneself has been faithful all along. I know it doesn't feel fair when it happens to you. Here, I am only touching on relationship, not event.

When things happens, let it pass, your life doesn't stop there. And the journey is full of obstacles before you find happiness. Yet it doesn't stop there, as happiness and sadness always tend to alternate. Fair .... it is hard to find fairness, even more so with everlasting happiness.

Living with other people is not as easy as living with oneself.

Be happy, even if it is momentary, let it fill your heart ... and it will stay there.

Public transport

2008-07-15T08:23:00.004+08:00

Again, we are seeing an increase in the prices of things we use. If we are lucky, our salary will increase as well, but unfortunately that don't happen as fast and as often as the price increase in commodities.

Fuel tax on taxi? Yes, you may say it is a small amount. If the taxi company think it is small, then why do you want to introduce it? When you add up the amount with all the passengers, it is alot, just as when we add up the amount on the things we are spending, it will be alot. So don't say it is a small amount.

Everyone is encourage to take public transport. Yes, sure! Currently, I feel it is already overloaded. If people who are driving cars switch over to public transport, then it will be over-overloaded. The transport authorities should increase their bus and train load capacities first before wanting people to give up their cars. I have been using the public transports for years since I don't drive. If I can afford and a licence to drive, I will be switching to car.

Sure, the transport company will show you statistics that it is not filling up, that compare with other countries, we are better off. Why do you want to compare with other countries? Does Changi Airport feel contented being comparable to other countries? I don't think so, as it is always trying to be better, increasing its capacity, providing better services, and always aiming to be number one.

Just because other countries still squeeze their passengers in overloaded trains or buses doesn't mean we can be satisfied that we "don't" squeeze as much people as them. Just because our public buses is new or has special extras like mobileTV or you can watch the electronic GPS-enabled board to see what time the next bus is coming (which I found very inaccurate in the 25 minutes I waited, which also doesn't say much of the service which promised 12mins interval), we are luckier than other countries. After so many years of promising better services, the bus company gave us extras yes, but the basic needs of going from point A to point B without waiting too long or getting a seat is still not met most of the time. An aircon bus ride without feeling the aircon is also what we have to tolerate. And we are supposedly paying for an aircon bus ride?

Hopefully, the new restructured system will see an improved situation for most of us. Granted I know not everyone can be pleased. We can only resign to whatever they are willing to give. I can only hope to get to my destination without being late.

To me, I want to see every person getting a seat when we take a public transport, be it a bus or train. Maybe then pregnant ladies or children will get their seats. Tired workers will get their seats. Old people will get their seats. That to me is an ideal public transport. We don't pay to stand, otherwise shouldn't we be paying less for that? Yes, I know we have premium bus services, which I feel is only an excuse for the bus company to introduce a service which they can collect more money. If the public transport system is good and think of the people first, it will not have been necessary to have such services in the first place. A public bus is for the public, where everyone is entitled to have a seat. If Singapore can do that, we can say that we have a public transport system that other countries will only dream about.

We can proudly say we are the NUMBER ONE!

my old Toa Payoh

2008-06-19T09:57:00.003+08:00

Often we reminisce about our past. Of the good old days (together with the bad) that was our childhood.

Yesterday I was at Toa Payoh. The Toa Payoh today is so much different from the Toa Payoh I knew when I was a teenager. Many blocks have been upgraded, painted and rebuilt. At least I think it had been rebuilt as the spot where the old buildings were is not occupied by completely new unfamiliar blocks of buildings. The landscape has changed too. It felt more congested.

Taking one of the shuttle bus services, I passed the old block were I used to stay.

Gone is the open field in front of the block.

Memories are all I have of this old place. Alas, my memory isn't too good. Everything is vague. But whatever I can remember, I can't see much when my bus passed the various location. Only the streets are the same, Lorong 1, Lorong 2, etc etc.

Toa Payoh formed the growing up of my early teen life, learning to be independent. It was the time of comics reading, movies going, and crushes of the opposite sex. Yes, I had my crushes on a couple of teachers as well as schoolmates. How silly I was having the puppy love over a couple of the girls, but too shy to approach them. Those were the times I amassed many comics, building to a huge collection that I had no place to store. Those were the times that I would travelled all over Singapore to look for cinemas that were showing movies I wanted to see. Those were the times when I could watch three movies in a day. Yes, I was growing up. And I was doing things alone, maybe because I wanted to, maybe because I didnt't know what friendship mean back then. I was growing up, confused and everything.

In time, whatever that I could remember, will disappear, just like the familiar sites that was Toa Payoh long long ago.